Finally I have a trainer. After my disastrous entry in world of Yoga, I have realized Gym might be better. I must say now I firmly believe that matches are either made in heaven or in gym. I have seen this dude working out with people and he looks like a fairly relaxed guy. So I felt that my motivation levels might match his levels.
I approached him. But this time I did not want to make same mistake as I did with last trainer. I made sure that I should not leave any doubt that I am a very motivated and disciplined type person. I had read somewhere that if you keep on repeating same word again and again, you are more likely to be believed.
PT: You want to work out with me?
Me: I am very motivated.
PT: That’s great! How many times a week do you want to work out?
Me: I am so motivated that I might want to work out all 7 days a week. But since I have to work and you probably have things to do, maybe we can do once a week.
PT: I will suggest at least three times a week.
Me: Absolutely, 3 is better than 1.
PT: What kind of diet do you want to follow?
Me: I am so motivated that I might not eat/drink anything except protein bars and shakes. Is that ok with you.
So far he seems to believe every word that I say. I can always make excuses to cut it down to once a week once he accepts me. He asked me to follow him. We walked to rear end of the gym. He asked me to take my clothes off. I told him that I am flattered but I am not into these kinds of things. He gave me a hurt look (could have been a puzzled look). “How am I going to measure you then”? This is getting awkward real fast.
Me: Oh..I am so sorry. I hope you did not think…..
PT: No! No! It is not my role to judge.
Me: No! Oh my God! No..I thought you were….
PT: Jesus! No..I have many friends who are…oh god…I will never judge anyone..
Me: Me too. I will die or go on a diet before judging…(in a panic and thinking how can I revive the situation) It is nothing new for me. People ask me to take my clothes all the time. (shut up now. you can only make it worse). I am sure you also take your clothes off all the time. Ha-ha (SHUT UP NOW).
PT: No, in fact nobody does. Remember, I am a Physical trainer not an exotic dancer.
Now this whole thing has a very strange feel to it. Did he think I think he is…Did he think? He tells me he respects all his clients regardless. I told him I hardly respect anyone (why did you have to say that). I mean I respect physical trainers regardless (please shut up now).
I think everything is going well. He then drops a bomb. “When did you see your regular doc last time”? Where is this son of a gun going with this one? I told him that I frankly don’t believe in going to doctors. My Grandfather lived till 94 and the only reason he lived so long was that he never went to a doctor. “I will need a clearance from your doctor. It looks like you have been living a very sedentary life.” I told him that I walk up one flight of stairs every morning, all 9 stairs. He does not want to hear anything.
So, now this is a big cluster fu**. I need to see a doctor to be able to work out with second physical trainer after being rejected by first. I am clearly not cut out for Yoga and my life coach is a drug dealer. I am living the freaking dream. To be continued…