A Search For New Gods!

MODI2As if having millions of gods and goddesses was not enough, we have added few more. Let no worshipper be left behind! There should be no one who cannot find an exclusive god of his/her own. This also represents ultimate in recycling as you can always recycle gods. Here are the latest gods:

PM Modi: A man who won an election. But this apparently resulted in him being god to his millions of followers. He can do no wrong. He started life on earth, discovered sun, invented sunlight, killed dinosaurs so we can live and in free time invented internet, uterus and Mt Everest. He works very hard, tweets, takes selfies and has had his pictures taken with every major world leader. He leads a right wing party that has some path breaking ideas. These include beef ban, criminalizing homosexuality, encouraging hindu women to have more and more children and undertaking extra-judicial killings.

MODI3

If you ever make the mistake of criticizing, challenging or questioning him you will be attacked by his rabid followers with bayonets drawn. A temple was being built for him by his followers. But he being a real nice type god, asked them not to (off course as always land grab was the real motive). In exchange his followers insisted that he change clothes three times a day and never wear the same clothes again. And he does not! It must be hurting him from inside as he really leads a poor country.

godseGodse: He is a symbol of our tolerance and universal love for all life forms. Incidentally he was also the guy who shot and killed Gandhi. But that should not deny him godliness. That would be too narrow-minded. A temple was being built for him as well. But some local ignorants did not allow it. The right-wing Hindu groups claim that he in fact killed Gandhi to save millions from being killed. Only God..Godse knows which millions he was saving by killing an old unarmed feeble man. Remember Godse is a god with 2 extra letters! It takes a saint to embrace a killer. We have all achieved sainthood now.

lalithaJayalalitha: Most powerful goddess of all. If not, definitely the richest. Currently in prison for corruption (you know how Jesus sacrificed himself. She chose going to jail). Proud owner of 6000 pair of shoes, 20000 sarees and so much gold jewelery that Nepal uses her as gold reserve. Amma to her followers, at least 5 of them commit suicide every time they charge her with corruption or she goes to jail. Five more commit suicide out of joy when she gets out of prison. She was also a movie star and “very close” to a very powerful politician who was somewhat married. But such things only matter to humans. Gods and goddesses are above all such things. She in fact does have temples where she is worshipped.

mayaMayawati: Another goddess who arose from humble beginnings. Again she does many things for her followers. These include building massive marble elephants. Why does she do that? May be she sees happiness and joy in elephants or that elephant is her political party symbol. The tax payers seem to love such cute little gestures.

6 thoughts on “A Search For New Gods!

  1. taracali says:

    I will need to add these gods to my daily prayer routine. So many gods, so little time. Is there a temple dedicated to the Bachan khandaan yet? That would be the efficiency model – one visit, 4 gods’ blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. David says:

    I did not find almighty Sonia Ji and Kejriwal Sahib in the list. They too are demi gods now. How did you miss them. Or was your post just another hog swab to get to Modi Ji.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Unfortunately Soniajee has lost her status as a goddess due to her recent election setbacks. Many faithfuls have left her for greener pastures. Kejriwal is someone with a short track record and is also losing popularity real fast. Both of these do not have the dedicated followers like some gods. I must have added Tendulkarjee though.

      Like

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