Weight Loss-A Life Coach for Physical Trainer Reject

imageAs I had no idea what a life coach is, I did some intense research. I typed “life coach” in Google. It came up with “About 123,000,000 results (0.54 seconds)”. Now I am not a mathsy type but this looked like a big number. I narrowed it down further by adding my town’s name “About 700,000 results (0.50 seconds)”. Since I am not the kind of guy to waste time, I decided to call the first number that popped up.

Office: How can we help you?

Me: I need a life coach as soon as possible.

O: Why do you need a LC? Are you in a crisis? May be you should call 911.

Me: I am fine. It is physical trainer who feels I need one.

O: Why does your trainer feels you need a LC?

Me: In fact he is not even my physical trainer. He rejected me. He feels I am not motivated.

O: Your physical trainer rejected you? I have never heard that before. (I can hear her in the background, calling everyone about “a guy who got rejected by a trainer”).

Me: I am also concerned that he might be spreading this information to other trainers.

O: So do you want to meet our psychologist and work towards overcoming barriers and improving motivation levels?

Me: Not really. All I need is a letter stating that I have great motivation levels and in fact it is the physical trainer who is a douchebag for doubting my motivation.

O: We can’t do that! We can work with you to overcome limitations and improve effort.

Me: I don’t need all that crap. I already have no limitations. All I need is a letter. In fact if you want, I will be more than happy to dictate it over the phone and pick it up in 30 minutes. I will pay off course.

O: I am sorry but we don’t do any such thing. Would you please hold on for a minute? (5 minute wait) I just checked with life coach. He will not be able to take you. We wish you all the best.

I can’t believe I have been rejected twice in 2 days. This weight loss thing is now complicated by no physical trainer and no life coach. Losing weight should not be this difficult. Is this the kind of world Washington and Lincoln wanted. Is this why Gandhi died? Is this the kind of world we are going to leave for Brad-Angelina’s children?

I have decided to try one more time. I have no faith in Google any more. I asked equipment guy in my gym if he knows some life coach kind of guy. He told me he knows someone who does shi* like that. I asked him if I can have his website address or office number. The equipment guy told me that this guy is old-fashioned and does not believe in websites and offices. But he promised to get me his number. I might have hit a jackpot here.    To be continued..

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