A Weighty problem!

imageAfter some time (months), I decided to undertake a dreaded activity. I went to gym. They were very happy to see me. I am the kind of client every business treasures. I pay regularly but never use their equipment, space or air. Somehow I feel more happy about being a member of a gym than really going there.

At this time I made a decision that was rather poor and will unfold a series of events over coming weeks and months. I climbed on a scale. It read 85. I was immediately worried that I have shrunk to 85 pounds. It turns out that these sadistic bastards are playing cruel jokes on people. These were 85 kgs which meant 187 pounds.

I decided to act. I took everything out of my pocket. The scale did not even move. I took of all my clothes off (nauseating..eh?) and climbed again. The scale moved..by 0.1 Ib. I tried few other things such as shaking the scale, climbing on the scale slowly, blowing out all air before climbing on the scale and trying to stand on one leg. Soon I realized that it did not change anything and a crowd had started to gather around me. Some of them were even texting their friends to come and watch this spectacle. It looks like a middle-aged naked man standing on one leg on a scale is not that common of a site.

I was really concerned…about this scale. A good gym should not have this kind of faulty equipment. I complained to the guy who was responsible for maintaining equipment. This was a cheerful man of rather large disposition. It appears that even working in a gym has not motivated him much. I had a feeling that he liked scales and gyms even less than me. He walked with me to the scale. He proceeded to step on scale himself. He was also shocked. As per him, it has to be wrong. How could he gain 3 pounds a week, 3 times in a row! He advised me to do some other things..such as emptying my bladder. I seriously doubted that I had 20 pounds in my bladder. However I always listen to professionals. The result was same.

I decided to take even more drastic measures. The weight had to be lost. I went to steam room as I was sure almost all of it was water. The equipment dude also promised to come back after 20 minutes. We met again, I had sweated profusely. My weight unfortunately stayed same. He weighed 3 pounds more. He got very angry at this point. The scale has to be incorrect because he only had a double pounder burger, large soda and fries. That can’t be 3 pounds! I don’t blame him for his math skills as he is American.

Long story short, we dragged another scale and my weight was exactly same. 187 Pounds (85 kgs). This gives me a BMI of 26.8, if I use the height I have been telling people for last 20 years and 27.6 if I use my real height. If I could just grow 3 more inches my BMI would drop to 25.4. I am determined…to grow those 3 more inches. I have read thousand times that nothing is impossible if you work towards it. I plan to work vertically towards those 3 inches.

Another problem that I am facing is that my ethnicity is working against me. The american BMI puts one overweight if BMI>25 and obese for BMI>30. However Indian ministry of nutrition labels you obese over >27.5. This is the kind of discrimination from your own that is very discouraging. Would it kill them to elevate BMI to WHO standards!  To be continued…

6 thoughts on “A Weighty problem!

  1. taracali says:

    Not to worry. As you probably know, BMI is of no use in people of ‘muscular’ built.

    Soon we will be using BMI as a selling point on biodatas:

    Age: 25
    Career: Software Engineer
    Skin: wheatish
    Height: taller than most people I know
    Built: Athletic – BMI > 25.

    Like

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