Baba Kamdev gave his first executive order. He wanted to rename the project as “Shivling”. He had a perfect explanation for it too. A rocket looks like a dick! A Shivling looks like a dick! So why call it rocket. The scientists tried to argue that naming a rocket after a dick was a bad idea. Baba thundered that if there ever was one dick that was going to be in space, it better be Shivjee’s.
Baba also wanted to make sure we don’t have any of “those” people on team who might leak secrets to “that” country as traitors often do. The minister of higher education immediately informed Baba that we are a secular government (wink! wink!). This was the best joke Baba had heard in a long time and he laughed heartily. “Do you mean sickular?”. This in fact was so hilarious that they both started rolling on floor with uncontrolled hysterical laughter. Baba could not believe that a woman could come with such sharp and witty humor. The scientist was trying to find something with which he could kill himself real fast even if it was painful.
Now it was Minister of higher education’s turn to put her own stamp on it. She announced that till the project is completed a lamp of pure ghee will burn day and night to protect project from evil. The plastic dick….er rocket will be washed with cow’s milk twice every day. There will be 4 pandits posted permanently to keep the project safe from evil spirits by chanting round the clock mantras. They all clapped to appreciate minister’s keen eye for detail.
The next obvious step was to acquire land for this great project. Whether the man lands on Mars or not, a rocket is ever build or not, the land acquisition was the only certainty in all this. Whether people wanted to give their land or not, the land will be acquired.Those ungrateful, anti-national, anti- science farmers who don’t want to give their 1-2 acres of land will require some gentle persuasion from goons and police (I repeat myself here).
Needless to say a project of this magnitude required co-operation from big business and even bigger businessmen. Thankfully the big donors to party came forward. They will buy the land from farmers, with loans provided by the government banks (returning the loan was voluntary), backed by government bonds. A great applause went around for this selfless gesture from these giant of men. “Mars today Sun tomorrow” they all chanted.