With the star declaring depression, it has become the “in” thing to have, an ultimate fashion statement, a must have accessory to declare that you have arrived. Something to go along with those non prescription glasses that nouveau riche put on to create an image of cerebral contemporary.
“Oh Mrs Gupta, my depression is so serious that I could not even go to club yesterday”. “Mrs Chaddha, depression has covered me from head to toe. I am filled with it all the way to my throat”. Ramu (eternal servant), can you bring me my Lexapro Lassi!
The “Divas for depression” is the event of the year. Bored bureaucrat’s wives and minister’s daughter in-laws will start NGOs (off course with generous government funds) to deal with this “new” disease and to “empower these poor women”. The event will be hosted in 5 star hotels. The themes would be “all white”, pictures will be taken by professional photographers and will make it to page 3 of local tabloid.
PM Modi has invited depressed women to participate in “clean India” project because what cures depression better than spending time in disgusting conditions surrounded by petty politicians.
Communists already knew that wealth and success cause depression. “Comrades, stay poor and make everyone around you miserable, that way this capitalist disease can be equally shared”.
Depression boutiques are popping everywhere just like those cosmetic centers with treatments by professionals with 2 weeks of training.
Religious heads (depending on religion) have claimed her depression is a result of not covering herself, not having enough children, not having a “proper” husband to teach her and possibly indulging in premarital sex.
The way highest civilian awards, Padam bhusan and Bharat ratna are being thrown around, she might get one for being depressed and another for well.. simply being pretty.
If a cow runs in front of traffic, it will be considered a depressed cow with suicidal tendencies. Needless to say depressed people will ask for “reservation” in government jobs and could even unite to form a third front.