A Star is Depressed!

One of the leading Bollywood stars recently publicly came out with her diagnosis of depression. I respect this as it takes courage and will help destigmatize mental health issues.
However in the politically charged vibrant atmosphere of world’s largest democracy nothing shall be left unexploited, analyzed and potentially taken advantage of.

-The government spokesperson has stated that Pakistan is 110% behind it. Pakistan’s spokesperson claims that depression is not hiding in their country.

-The leader of disadvantaged (Dalits) Mayawati has announced that Deepika is “suppressed” and not “depressed” which makes her a Dalit. She wants Dalit Deepika  to join her party.

-Delhi’s Chief Minister Kejriwal is blaming Modi, Ambani, corruption, Congress, swiss banks, corrupt auto rickshaw drivers and expensive electricity for her Depression.

-Congress spokesperson has immediately responded that Rahuljee and Sonia Gandhijee are not responsible for her depression and it is a conspiracy of non secular forces.

-Tamils have erected temples both for Deepika and Depression. They also want Deepika Amma to run for CM or three of them will commit suicide.

-Gujarat has appointed her state brand ambassador because nothing represents Gujaratis like depression. Incidentally they are also looking for a brand ambassador for constipation.

-Punjab has produced a new scotch “depression di maa de” (screw depression) which will cure depression immediately every evening.

-The state of Haryana has declared being a woman a disease itself.

-Baba Ramdev has started to sell 100% original Indian treatment in a yellow colored bottle with bold letters “Depression Gayab”. If you ask what is in the bottle you are anti-national, a Pakistani agent and possibly gay.

-The very tightly controlled and regulated Indian pharmaceutical industry has come out with a combination of Lexapro/Fluoxetine/Ativan/Modafinil/Iron/Multi-vitamins/Colace/holy water/ashes in a single attractive pill.

Her rival movie star’s PR team is upset because “bitch has cornered depression”. The rival will most likely have a “concerning growth in breast which is suspicious for cancer”. Obviously Breast will always supersede depression and next week I, like million others will be saluting her courage.

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